Let 10,000 Plazas Bloom: Texas Looks South for Ideas to Enliven Its Communities

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n a move that stunned political observers from El Paso to Texarkana, Governor Rick Perry announced a bold move to revitalize Texas communities by creating thousands of town squares modeled on Mexican plazas throughout the state.

"Let's face it," the governor announced in a surprise press conference at the Alamo in San Antonio, "we may have whupped the Mexicans to win our independence but we sure lost the battle to make great places. Mexican towns and villages have lively plazas and zocalos, where everyone can gather in the evenings. They've got street life, damn it. We're stuck with a bunch of Wal-Marts and strip malls. Ay Caramba!"


Researchers from Governor Rick Perry's administration examine what makes this plaza in Juchitan, Mexico so appealing.

Perry said that his ambitious public space plan, which includes grants of up to $1000 per resident for any neighborhood or town wanting to create a plaza, will be paid for by his new sprawl tax on stores and offices that are not pedestrian-friendly. Researchers from Project for Public Spaces, who helped create the legendary Staples Street Bus Station in Corpus Christi, will be rating all Texas places for their pedestrian qualities.

"Don't mess with Texas," he roared to an approving crowd. "And that means bringing some common sense and beauty back to all the god-awful places we've thrown up in this state since World War II."

Crawford, Texas, is reportedly already lining up as the first Texas community to qualify for funding to do a plaza. One prominent local citizen, who asked to remain anonymous under orders from Karl Rove, said, "The next time Cindy Sheehan and all those anti-war women come to town I want them to have a place to go hang out, so they won't be hanging around all day at the end of my driveway."